[Bokushinu V1] CUT 1 – Today, I was in a Watermelon field. I lost my memories

“I lost my memories.”

“You spent a passionate night with your girlfriend until you lost your memories? Now this is why you’re a delinquent.”

“Listen to me seriously! I really lost my memories!”

“Also, why are you not calling me Miss? Now this is why you’re a delinquent.”

“Miss, please don’t joke around here. I’m serious. I really lost my memories.”

“Goodness me, why must you be born with such a terrifying face? Now this is—”

“I’m going to punch you in.”

It’s Monday.

No, wait, it’s Tuesday today.

…It seems. My memories indicate this is the first day I came to school this week.

Clearly, we’re in the infirmary of my high school, and I’m chatting with the school nurse. This is the only fact I can be certain on, and the other parts are still fuzzy to me.

“And so? When did you begin to lose your memories, Akitsuki?”

The school nurse Higumo speaks to me with clarity, calling me rudely by my name.

It’s already spring, and yet this female teacher is dressed in a light blue muffler over her white coat. Clearly, she’s out of touch with the seasons.

She’s the subject of beauty amongst the male students with sensual curves and pretty face, and at this point, she slackened her collar and crossed her legs like an exhibitionist, appearing to be teasing me. However, it’s useless to me since I don’t like any form of disorderly. That’s why you shouldn’t bother leaning your chest to me since a while back, and don’t raise your legs again. I’m a guy, you know?

The spring breeze blew through the window, fluttering my long hair as it filled the nurse’s office with a refreshing scent. No, wait, this isn’t the time to talk about those things. It’s not no much of that.

“I have no recollection of my memories from Monday. I don’t remember anything from when I slept on Sunday night till when I woke up.”

“What happened when you woke up?”

“I was on a watermelon field.”

“…Ookkaayy?”

Even I thought what I just said by myself was quite weird. It’s the truth though, so there’s no helping it.

Plus, this isn’t even the weirdest part.

“I wanted to go back home to take a shower, but when I realized I was completely late, I changed my mind and decided to come to school. While not noticing that today is actually Tuesday.”

“Let me think, did you mean that you wanted to bathe among the watermelons?”

“Like hell I said that!”

After falling asleep on Sunday, I woke up in a watermelon field. After coming to school, I noticed that it was Tuesday for some reason. I have no idea what I’m saying, and I’m also finding it difficult to express myself.

“Hey, you overslept, didn’t you? As expected from the number-one delinquent at school.”

“Completely impossible!”

“Then you got drunk, didn’t you? As expected from the number-one delinquent at school.

“I didn’t.”

“Because you have a pretty menacing face. As expected from the number-on–”

“Enough already! Or I’ll hit you.”

I glared angrily at the school nurse, who was blabbering nonsense.

This idiocy from her was apparently popular among the students, and I have no idea why. To be honest, I didn’t really want to consult such a nonchalant teacher, but nor did I have the courage to go to some big hospitals and tell the doctors: “Well, ya see, I kinda lost my memories. Hehe.” If it were possible, I’d wish this was simply a huge mistake.

“Uhm, however, from a serious point of view, the most plausible idea is that you simply confused Sunday with Monday? Though it wouldn’t be quite realistic.

“Indeed.”

I understood what she meant, but it’s definitively not it.

It’s exactly because of that I have come to consult this frivolous school nurse.

“Please listen carefully. This morning, I heard from my mother that after I got up yesterday and looked at the mirror, I suddenly let out a weird scream and ran outside, and my whereabouts were unknown since then. Apparently, I was still wearing my pajamas. I don’t remember that in any way however, which means…”

“…”

“…”

Silence descended upon us.

“It’s because you look scary that…”

“Enough of this! Do you really love mentioning it that much?”

Higumo lets out a giggle, and finally decided to face me seriously.

“Well, I guess what you just said was true.”

She crossed her legs once again, her index finger on her lips as she says to me,

“This is a case of memory loss.”

“Ahh.”

Memory loss.

I don’t wish to admit it, but there’s no other possibility.

“Yup, memory loss, huh?”

Higumo muttered while twirling her long hair, seemingly thinking about this.

“While it’s definitely memory loss, there are many kinds of it , varying from the “Where is this place? Who am I?” retrograde amnesia that many are familiar with, to “I remember everything until the moment I pushed down Miss Higumo…”. In this case, it’s that you’re unable to recall a specific episode of your memory. The span of your memory loss can be pretty large. I guess your situation is the latter, right?”

“Uh-uh, I’m pretty sure it’s like that.”

“So you’re admitting the fact you pushed me down, eh?”

“Let’s get back on topic…”

I haven’t lost all my memories, as proven by the fact it’d be pretty easy for me to do a self-introduction.

My name is Akitsuki Sakamoto.

I am attending Sakurahime Senior High, currently a second-year there.

I am the eldest son of a family of four, and I have a younger sister.

I am 1.85 meters tall and weigh 70 kilograms.

My birthday coincides with my favorite soccer player.

My hobby is to visit shrines during summer and winter.

I was born with a scary face, and because of that, I have the reputation of being a delinquent.

Thus, I have not a single friend. Plus, everyone in my class was keeping a certain distance with me. Every time we were to swap seats, I could see the girls beside me afterwards show an expression of grief. It happened so many times I got used to it.

Going through this discrimination ever since grade school led me astray, causing me to become an actual delinquent. My classmates, neighbors, the teachers in the school office, basically everyone in this world started to despise me. Even my own little sister has started telling me things like “Don’t talk to me, you piece of shit.”. Everyone judge me by my appearance. Oh well, I can care less about what the others think of me.

“H-Huh? Akitsuki, you’re crying.”

“I’m not crying! Say that again and I’ll slaughter you!”

“Ehe, I see.”

Higumo stopped asking pointless questions and yawned.

I guess there are still people who know that it’s quite difficult to yawn spontaneously.

“So you lost your memories. But, even if you say so, there’s nothing we can really do. There may be a problem with your brain, so should we go to the hospital?”

“Nah, forget the hospital.”

I didn’t want to make such a fuss over it.

“You’re really stubborn, aren’t you. I guess there’s no helping it. But let’s first examine the current situation.”

“The current situation…”

We didn’t resolve the problem, but it was true that there was nothing we could do.

Tsk, so there’s no way out.

Desperate, I stood up from the folding chair.

“Bye then. Maybe I’ll come back again.”

“Ah, by the way, Akitsuki…”

Hm? Hearing Higumo’s weary voice, I turned back towards her.

“Your hair is pretty long, don’t you think? It’s against school regulations. And if you cut it shorter, you’d look much cooler.”

“I’m a delinquent, it doesn’t matter.”

“As expected from a delinquent. You are welcome to come back here at any time.”

Shit, why would I come back here?

The sexy teacher had her arms folded, and I click my tongue before slamming the door furiously.

 

I’m walking down a hallway that basked in sunlight.

It’s a nice weather, certainly as if the stormy day yesterday did not occur.

Wait, my bad. I meant the day before yesterday. I have no idea whether the sky was clear yesterday or not.

It’s so hot I’ll sweat profusely if I run, and the corridor’s filled with students chatting cheerfully as during lunch break.

It’s been a few days since I became a second-year student.

There were the usual cliques on the hallways from the previous years, and new cliques formed.

Of course, this had nothing to do with me. If I have to say something, it’ll be about not yawning while walking on the hallway.

I gloomily let out a sigh, and silently opened the classroom door.

Immediately, almost every classmate of mine focused their eyes on me.

However, before our eyes would meet, they would all look away.

“Haaa…”

My seat was placed in the middle of the back row.

I rested my head on the palm of my hand as I waited for time to pass. Who is going to talk to me?

“Hey, was what Mariko said true?”

“Yeah, seems like it is. Apparently, she got harassed up by Class 3’s delinquent.”

However, I know that nobody will come and talk to me, so I ended up eavesdropping on what everyone was saying.

“That’s pretty freaky. If only the teachers would pay more attention.”

“It’s useless. This school’s teachers would only shiver in fear. After all, our class–”

At that moment, she started to lower her voice unnaturally.

Me? Is she talking about me?

Let me say this first: I’m not causing any trouble by just because I’m being considered a delinquent.

Can it be that my existence itself is a bother? Or that I’m just a burden being alive.

If that’s the case, I can’t help you. Haha, die?

“Tsk.”

I subconsciously clicked my tongue and in an instant, I realized that I did something bad.

As expected, the girls started to shiver, suddenly stood up and ran to the classroom’s corner.

Shocked, these girls came close to each other while timidly looking in my way, as if they’d like to apologize.

My eyes then met a petite girl with braids, but that girl averted her eyes quickly, and this almost made me break down in tears.

“Damn…”

I let out a sigh, leaned over my desk and closed my eyes. May school end as soon as possible.

Sulking since class started, I continued to remain prone on the desk, but no one, including the teacher, called out to me. I can’t just get up at this point, so I continued to endure the aching of my shoulders until school ended.
Ahh, I’m tired.

 

When I got home, my mother said “Where the heck did you go yesterday?” And so I answered “Shut up, it’s none of your business!” like what a teenager would say during a rebellious stage. Mom, this is a misunderstanding, I want to be more of a good boy too, but I can’t seem to find the right timing.

“Oh.”

“Woah.”
I was about to enter my room in the second floor, and bumped into my sister, dressed in her school uniform, as she
walked out from her room.

“Yo, you’re back.”

“What’re you doing? Don’t talk to me, you piece of shit.”

My sister said with a cold voice as if she was venting her anger at me. She has a bobcut, her eyes beneath her bangs staring at the end of the hallway, not even giving me any attention.

This is my sister, Yukiko Sakamoto. She’s graduating from middle school the next spring.

Her petite body resembles my mother; we don’t look like siblings at all since her beautiful face is far different from mine. She would be more popular if she was livelier. Unfortunately, she shares the rude way of speaking like I do.

“ You better not slack off again today, you piece of scum.”

“Hmph? Today?”

“Don’t act dumb after the problems you caused yesterday.”

“Eh….”

Yesterday…? Wait.

“Yukiko! You saw me yesterday!?”

“Huh? Actually—“

“What did I do yesterday?! What was I like to you yesterday?”

I shook the shoulders of my skeptical looking sister.

It seems she met me yesterday.

“You ask me what did you do!? That’s something you should be asking yourself!”

“Just tell me already! I want to know what you think of me!”

“Huh? Wh-what I think of you… This—-“

“I beg of you! Please tell me honestly! What do you think of me?!”

“ ……! ”

I pressed the issue with a serious face I never had. For some reason, Yukiko’s face was flushed red, her lips slightly opened.
“Wh-what do I think, th-that, well, I find you co-…..”

“Hm?”

Speak loudly here, please?

“Like I said, I-I find you co-…..”

“Hey, what’s wrong? Do you have a fever?”

Yukiko continues to stammer, and so, I move her bangs aside and laid my hands on her face.

Maybe it’s because I agitated her that my sister gave me a teary face as she pushed my hand away.

“Hey, d-don’t touch me, you scum!”

My sister yelled as she went back to her room next door, shutting herself inside.

Mom looked up from the stairs and shouted “What are you doing?”.“Shut up, old hag!” I yelled back, and I locked myself inside my room as well. What’s with Yukiko? Why didn’t she just tell me what I did yesterday?
“Ahh, goodness….”

I threw my back to the corner and laid down on the bed.

 

Engulfed by the silence of my room, drowsiness struck me.

But I immediately recalled that incident, and picked up the bag I threw aside

“Let me see, I remember it being this one”

I took out the newspaper I bought on the way home, and flipped the pages in order.

Ah, found it.

 

“Takiou Highschool’s Female Student died in accident.”

 

The title was made up of large, gothic words, I double checked the title.

This obscure news is located in the corner of the local news. I don’t usually read the news or watch the TV columns, but this was an exception.

“So her name is “Yumesaki Hikari” huh.”

I mumbled the name of the girl that passed away.

I pulled the desk drawer, and took the tattered student handbook from within. I carefully opened the book to
prevent damaging it, and found the name on the torn photograph to the same.

I remembered what happened yesterday, no. I meant the day before yesterday.

The girl who died during the rain.

Honestly, I don’t want to remember such an incident. Thankfully, I didn’t see her face. I don’t want to see the
face that someone makes during the moment of their death, especially one of a girl’s.

 

—-by using half of your life span.

 

That cold voice struck my mind like the rain. The setting sun pierced through the curtains and stung my face.
Who the heck was he.

That shady person in black robes.

An existence akin to a mirage created by the cold rain.

My memory was so hazy it felt as if the dreams I had when I was a kid were suddenly reality.

Bring it on, I said to him. But logically thinking this isn’t possible. The news now have broadcasted her death without emotion.

That girl died.

That shady person was just a mirage caused by the rain.

I was so traumatized by the girl’s death that I lost my memories on Sunday.

But, is that all……?

“Am I the weird one?“

The words I subconsciously said devastated me. That’s not it.

I sighed once more after laying my eyes on the student handbook.

“I…need to return this…..”

If there’s no mistake on the news, this handbook should be returned to her family. I can’t do anything with it
anyway.

However,

I don’t have the guts to return it.

Because, this student handbook—-

“…… tsk.”

I don’t know how many times I clicked my tongue at the orange sunset. I adjusted the curtains so that no sunlight would leak through and lay on the bed.

I don’t know, and I don’t care anymore.

Surrounded by silence, my breath and heartbeat quickly rang in my ears.

“Died in an accident, huh.”

I mumbled once more as I closed my eyes.

If I sleep now, I won’t be able to wake up, I suppose.

Or I might lose my memories again.

“It should be fine, right?”

I said so casually, seemingly comforting myself. My consciousness soon faded within the thin veil of darkness.

As if I was escaping from today.

It’s fine, I’ll definitely be fine.

 

“It’s not fine.”

“Wait, I’m pretty hyped now, This girl game is pretty interesting.”

It’s Wednesday.

No, wait, that’s not right, it’s Thursday.

Nope, it’s Friday…. Eh, it’s Thursday? Argh, I don’t care anymore!

It was around 9am, in the middle of the first period, and I’m in the Infirmary right now.

Of course, the reason is to be expected.

“Miss, things got worse here. I lost another day of my memories… Turn off the TV first!”

“W-wait! This character looks just like you, Akitsuki. His looks—“

“Do your job, you idiot!”

I snatched the remote control and switched off the TV. I then gave a hideous glare face at Higumo in response to
her sullen look, and slumped into the seat.

“Oh come on. By the way, judging from the dirt on you, did you sleep in the watermelon fields again?”

“Yeah, I slept there again.”

This time, I woke up in the watermelon fields again, and the calendar…

“It’s Thursday.”

“Yeah, it’s Thursday.”

I lost another day of my memories.

“Oho. You were going at it too intensively, didn’t you? I guess you had to lose your memories after all because of
that. As expected of a delinquent.”

“What should I do? This doesn’t look good….”

“Uh, huh, where’s the punchline…?”

This terrifying thing happened again. I lost my memories, and find myself waking up again in the watermelon fields.

“Teach, seriously speaking, what do you think of this? Things are pretty bad, right…?.”

“Yeah. I’ve never heard about losing memories every alternate day. Do you have any idea? Like you’re actually man-made! Or something like that.”

“Man-made, huh. I see, it all makes sense now….”

“Uh, huh? Did you just give a senile look….?”

“Haha, so that’s it. I’m not human huh.”

“Sorry. I’m paying attention. Please return back to normal, Akitsuki.”

Higumo straightened her muffler, and took a book out from the metallic shelf.

“After you left, I began to look into amnesia. But there aren’t any cases where people lose their memories every alternate day.”

“I know right. That means I’m man made.”

“Erm, I’m really sorry here… By the way, I found another possibility.”

“Another possibility?”

Higumo nodded as she opened a page in the thick book.

The term written there was….

“Dissociative identity disorder?”

“Yeah, also known as ‘Multiple Personality Disorder’.”

Multiple personalities.

This term echoed in my mind like a gong.

“This is what is written about MPD( Multiple Personality Disorder. To protect their mental state, humans choose to seal up their sad memories. Cases like this are rare. During cases like this, the sealed memory would become another personality after being triggered by something, and this symptom is called….”

“MPD huh.”

“That’s it.”

Higumo nodded once more as she took up the mug on the table. I laid my eyes on the words printed on it, Sutera huh? What a cute name. I just added an unneceessary memory..

“Do you have any idea?”

“Nah.”

If I did have any, I would have gladly sealed up the memories of this past week and the unnecessary things I just learned.

“Is that so? But if this situation goes on, you’ll need to stay alert. The book states that there are cases when the alternate personality would appear more frequently and take over its host.”

“—- huh?”

I was dumbfounded by these terrifying words.

Wait right there.

What’s going on here? Eh, what’s that about?

Eh?

“This might still be wrong. You better go to the hospital.”

“……”

“Akitsuki?”

“…… I’m …..”

“Akitsuki… are you crying?”

“….trash….”

“Eh?”

“I still have a lot of things… left undone…”

“For example?”

“I want to touch girls…”

“You’ll need to control your urges as a delinquent.”

“Guh… why did I become a delinquent….”

“… Severe symptoms, huh?.”

“Damn it….”

I don’t really remember what happened next.

I remember Higumo advising me to go to the hospital, but I ignored her.

I stumbled my way out of the infirmary and pulled the door to my classroom mightily. The students and teacher, in the midst of class, were shocked, but I ignored them and closed the door.

I look like a sore loser right? I don’t even know what I’m doing.

I left school right away and wandered around the town for about an hour.

In the end, I stopped at the Watermelon fields, squatted down, and cried.

“Waaahhhh!!”

The passers-by probably think of me as a madman.

The sky was wonderfully clear.

 

It was around sunset.

I walked home after my tears dried up.

“Why are you so late? What were you doing you piece of trash?”

“I’m back. Where’s mom?”

“She has work today. If you understand the situation now, you better start making dinner. I’ll help you only for
today.”

“Huh?”

My sister had an apron on, and in my surprise, I sized her up..

She’s suddenly much more feminine. But she would look better if she’s a little fatter.

“Wh-what’s wrong with you, looking at me like that? You’re disgusting. Stop looking!”

“Yukiko, I’m glad that I got to be your brother.”

“Eh…I don’t know what you’re talking about!?”

“I’m sorry for everything I have done up till now.”

“What are you saying——–!?”

I suddenly expressed my love to my sister, fully prepared to be hated. Ah, it feels so warm and tender.

“You idiot! Wh-what are you doing now! Br-brother!?”

“Thank you, Yukiko.”

I exerted more force in my embrace.

“Br-brother…”

I hugged her for about 20 seconds, and then let go of her gently.. My sister’s drooling as her eyes sparkled, and she returned to her room.

“I-I’ll need to write that on my blog… No, I better write a draft first….”

And then, my sister vanished behind the door.

Blog? What’s that?

Well, let’s forget about that first. My sister’s words caused me to have a thought.

“Right, a diary”

I entered my room, and locked the door.

I pulled the curtains down, sealing any gaps to make sure. Relying only on the table lamp placed on the wooden
desk, I took up my pen in this dark room.

I opened a new note book on the side of the table. I stared on the blank page for a while.

……Ehhh……….ah….

I can’t think of what to write. In cases like this, the most important thing is to write something, anything, and follow the flow.

I wrote exactly what I thought, with the pen sliding on the paper as the background music.

To the other me.

These might be my last words.

“Yo, how are you? How does it feel like in my body during Monday and Wednesday? It seems like you took over my body.

Well, I don’t care anymore.

Sorry, I didn’t mean that. This is too ridiculous.

But I’ve given up. This body can only cause trouble for my family and society. You can have this body.

But, I have one last wish.

Please protect my sister, she is more important than my life.

Also, greet my parents, and thank them for raising me up.

That’s all, I’ll leave the rest to you.

Well, there’s something like a gift for you. There’s a hidden Anime folder in my computer, do whatever you want with it.

The password is “Ookiihaseigi.” (Big is justice)

Bye, the other me.

 

From Akitsuki Sakamoto”

 

“Phew.”

Once I was done writing, I placed the notebook in the middle of the desk, where it would attract attention. A sigh then leaked out with enthusiasm.

I have no regrets.

I don’t regret anything at all.

I told myself as I laid down on the bed.

No, I should at least have a last meal with my sister.

Having changed my mind, I knocked my sister’s room door, requesting her to have dinner with me.

I took a bath, and it’s already bedtime once my body and mind entered a drowsy state.

Goodbye everyone.

I made a simplified farewell before my last moments, and my consciousness sank into the darkness.

On that night, I entered a deep sleep I never had before.

 

“…. Saturday.”

I woke up as usual.

The calendar on my cellphone tells me that I’ve skipped a day again.

It’s just that this time, I didn’t wake up in the watermelon fields unlike before.

Also, another thing.

“You must be joking.”

The notebook’s left on the table.

But it’s obviously placed differently from how I did.

The notebook was laying on the table lamp, clearly indicating to me that I have to read it.

I don’t have the time to think anymore.

A weird sense of duty propels me to be anxious, and I opened the book furiously.

The thing written inside is—-

“……That black-cloaked bastard.”

I found out what was going on.

The real identity of the rain sounds that has been in my mind since that day.

“This is what he meant by half.”

I collapse down on the bed limply, like a puppet severed of its strings.

I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.

I grab my head, not knowing what to do once I saw the words written in the notebook.

 

“To Akitsuki Sakamoto

Are you the other me?

Hikari Yumesaki”

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