It’s been a month and a half since I started cohabiting together with Hikari Yumesaki.
I, gradually used to living with her, is able to live a steady life without any troubles…NOT! I understand that at least, okay?
“What in the world am I doing…”
It’s the Sunday in the latter half of May.
But right now, I’m involved in volunteer work to clean up the area.
“Well~, it’s an unexpected improvement to see young people willing to take part in such activities! You’re a nice chap even though you have such a scary face~!”
The old man of the town council is saying such words to me, and I don’t know if he’s praising me or deriding me.
“Hey, old man! Don’t throw rubbish around like that!”
Not too far away from me is an unbelievable act unfolding. A gang of delinquents with all kinds of dyed hair, dressed in jumper suit, were holding rubbish bags and cleaning the trash in the drain. They’re the delinquents led by that mohawk head, and one of them was yelling at one of the misbehaving passers-by, but well, whatever.
“Why did it end up like that?”
I let out a grumble, but I do understand how it all ended up like this.
It seems that girl doesn’t like to see me get frowned upon by our neighbors, and has been going around, doing volunteer work on the streets. Because of that, my already halved weekend is gradually whittled down. It’s not like she’s doing any bad thing this time around however, so it’s hard for me to grumble about anything.
“Mr Sakamoto! The trash here has been cleaned!”
“Oh, gotcha. Go help the old grannies over there.”
The mohawk head answers enthusiastically, and runs over to the group down there.
For some reason, that guy ended up being my lackey, and whenever we meet, “Good job there!” he would yell to me. I’m not a member of the yakuza, I tell you!
On a side note, I once tried to ask what he intended to do after harassing the girls, and then he answered, “I’ll put the two shot with the girl as a screen saver, and enjoy myself all the way!” well, that was quite a weak wish. I want ①, ① , I tell ya.
Right now, the mohawk head’s being ordered around by the old grannies, completely busy, and I look away from such a meaningless sight and lift my head to look at the sky. The sky is clear, with no cloud to be seen, but I let out a sigh.
The reason? Of course, it’s all her.
I thought she would calm down after a while, but her random acts are changing and increasing in scale, and her actions the past few days has completely wrecked my reputation.
The winning contributions Sexy Dream does increases every two days, and I feel myself getting stronger. It’s likely that she’s been training.
And as for other aspects, my social circle’s starting to expand, and the number of girl addresses recorded in my cellphone is gradually increasing. Thus, I’m getting some anonymous messages every day.
“Let’s go buy some clothes.”
“Let’s go for karaoke!” There were all sorts of such messages.
I checked through my sent mail.
“I want to have a duet with Mii! Kiss☆”
And I found such a vexing message. Now this is really scary. Anyone will be scared and run away if they’re to receive such a message from a scary looking delinquent.
Also, she’s been dolling up my room little by little (but never cleans it up), and she’s going way too perfect dealing with my hairs (even the leg hairs). I received some damn big package once, and found that it was the bolster of an anime girl (and she even brought it out brazenly to sundry, causing me public execution.) There’s all sorts of other things that caused my image to crash.
Ah, on a side note, that whiteboard puzzle of hers is still going at a snail’s pace, but it’s at least proceeding in the right direction. Right now, the words written on that puzzle are,
“I do feel embarrassed if it’s panties, but not if it’s swimsuits!”
What in the word is that girl thinking?
Also, it seems the number of male friends has increased.
“When discussing about erotic topics with guys, what sort of character am I supposed to be?”
Anyway, I wrote down, “Try being a macho guy.”
“But are you still macho after seeing such erotic anime?”
And this came out of nowhere. It’s a failure on my part to let her know of that anime folder’s existence.
–And so, my life’s having drastic changes over the days.
My mind starts to imagine the face of this girl I have never met, and for some reason, I see a pretty girl with a dazzling face, and because of this I can only shake my head hard to let it disappear. Don’t think about it! I don’t care how she looks! We can never meet anyway.
I mutter quietly to myself as I pick the empty cans in the drain using the tongs, stuffing the garbage fiercely into the bag.
“Kasumi is so cute!! Very very super very!”
And on that day, such words were written.
“You’ve been mentioning Kasumi a lot recently.”
The morning sun is getting brighter by the moment, and I narrow my right eye while writing in the notebook.
My classmate Kasumi.
It seems that my interaction with her has been increasing recently.
It’s one that that we end up sitting side by side together and end up chatting with each other more other, and also, we start exchanging messages more often. I don’t know if she has any animals she likes, but my mail messages is filled with a large number of adorable penguins or hamsters. Such mails are really cute, befitting of a girl. On a side note, my sent mail contains shit and caterpillar pictures, and I really wonder, are you an elementary school kid? I really can’t imagine both of you to be girls. Learn some common decency, you!
And also, Kasumi would make lunch boxes for me, so we’re having our meals together with everyone giving us warm stares.
“I wanna eat you–ah, no, the bento you make~!”
And there seemed to be a moment when Hikari Yumesaki blurted out such nonsense. I can be sued for sexual harassment! Don’t act like it has nothing to do with you!
And thanks to that, the other guys in my class are giving me raging looks. “Are you going out? Are you going out with Kasumi?” Even the girls are giving me beams of interrogative stares that whittle down my HP everyday.
“You really like her, huh?”
And today’s notebook topic is basically about Kasumi, with her writing.
“A petite body’s cute!”
“Kasumi’s two side ups look so moe–!”
“Gym clothes + Marathon + Girl sweet + Breasts = Attack of the large breasts!”
“So soft! I found them really soft after she let me rub them.”
“I so wanna push her down!”
Wait! Wait a sec!
What did you just say!? Le-le-let me rub!?
“That idiot! What did she do!?”
My groggy mind was instantly sober.
That dumb airhead! How can she do such a thing!
And in my panic, I continue to read,
“That’s just a joke, heh. During the mixed volleyball match, when the ball was spiked down at her, her breasts just swooshed like the wind! It’s interesting, so I tried hitting her a few times! She seems somewhat embarrassed, but not completely. (Eyes sparkles).”
No, that’s bad enough already! Be careful next time!
And below it, she writes,
“Kasumi’s not too bad herself. Her breasts are large, and her legs were all silky now.”
“What’s with the ‘were’!!? Why the past tense!?”
Hikari Yumesaki probably expected me to retort back at this point, and she gives me an explanation in the notebook.
“Guhehehe. Let me teach you something to the pretty and innocent you, Sakamoto. That sort of girl has no resistance to being harassed, and she has a sexual desire much more than an ordinary person. Everyone has their own needs, so you don’t have to worry about being sued!”
“Enough already, you idiot…”
My eyes continue to wade through the the diary,
“And you’re like the character of a light novel I really like, Sakamoto. That’s why there’s definitely no problem here!”
“What has that got to do with this?”
What sort of expression am I supposed to show when I go to school?
I can hear the chirpings of the sparrows from the window, and it sounds like the BGM of a trip to Hell.
Ahh, I don’t feel like going to school.
“Go now when nobody’s around.”
“B-but, but if I get rejected…”
“It’s fine! Summon your courage!”
The hypnotism-like classes during the warm season was over, and it’s now after school.
Not interested in partaking in any club activities, I intend to head home like usual. Right now however, there’s a tremendous power obstructing my footsteps.
The reason for that is the girls not too far away from me.
“Hey, Kasumi, hurry up! Or Sakamoto’s going home, you know?”
There has been a recent trend of light novel and manga protagonists oblivious to the feelings of girls, and are extremely popular for some reason. Unfortunately, this despicable Sakamoto has a sensitive personality and ears like what women have, and I’m in a dilemma now that I eavesdropped on their conversation. Do I go home now, or do I stay? if you want to come to me, hurry up now. I’ve been trying to buy time, staring at the meaningless chain mails on my cellphone all this while, or taking out and putting in the textbooks, but I’m soon at my limit here. It’s hard to pretend not to hear it.
“Alright, just go now!”
I glance at the girls from the corner of my eyes, and it seems they decided to push her.
And the petite girl who was pushed out stumbles towards me.
Her eyes are bouncing around quickly like a jumping spider, her face a bright beetroot.
“Hm? What’s the matter?”
Anyway, let’s just talk to her.
“Ah, erm, ar-are you going home now?”
“Th-then, can, we go home…together…?”
What’s with this embarrassing conversation?
After finishing this sweet, sour template of a conversation, we quickly leave the classroom with the few girls watching us with dazzling lights. We then endure the curious stares of those behind us as we walk to the shoe cabinet. “Sorry…” Kasumi then apologizes to me, and she looks exceptionally adorable.
Now I think I’m starting to realize why she’s attracted to this girl.
And now, having left school, we’re resting in the park.
Kasumi said to me, “My friends say the ice cream here is nice…” giving me an unreliable pitch, and so we bought cups of ice cream from the shop, seated at the bench.
The sunset’s warm, but the breeze was cold.
And the ice cream was exceptionally cold. Anyway, I’m freezing now.
It’s a wrong choice to buy ice cream now, right? I wondered as I watch the strolling now. Anyway, is this situation right now a date? Hey dog, tell me.
“An-and then, my big sister, well…”
Kasumi has been trying her best to talk to me, but she stammers a lot because she’s very tense, and I can’t hear half of what’s she’s saying. I already have the fatal flaw of not being able to communicate well with others, but what do I do in such a situation?
“I-in such a situation, ah…choose.”
A cute sneezing sound reaches my ear.
Speaking of sneeze, there was once when I had a band-aid on my forehead, so I asked Hikari Yumesaki if she had a fight.
“I sneezed too hard and hurt myself.”
And then, that was her reply to me.
Goodness gracious. Even if you’re an old man, you wouldn’t be sneezing yourself that hard.
In such a moment, a man has to put a jacket on her after all.
I try my best to reach and unhook my jacket buttons, but I can’t do it because my hands’ all frozen. Damn it.
It would be great if Kasumi didn’t notice me trying to remove my jacket. Unfortunately for me, it seems she did.
I was extremely worried over the buttons I can’t, and right now, with Kasumi staring at me so worriedly, I’m becoming much more hasty than before, unable to remove it. Ah damn it, it’s so embarrassing I wanna die! Some people say that two rookie lovebirds should not be together, and this is a classic example. It’ll be better if one side is a little dim-witted with regards to this, but why is it that both sides are so sensitive?
“Wear this now.”
After 2 minutes of intense battle (with both of us silent!) I at least manage to remove my jacket and put it on Kasumi’s shoulders.
She shyly look at me for an instance, and thanked me. Looks like my hard work has paid off.
I’m damn cold because I’m only wearing a T-shirt!
And when I look closely at my shirt, I find a really unglam design of ‘Udon Alien’ (TN: original is うどん星人, based on the Vocaloid song, Udon Udon Galaxy, I think) on my shirt. She’s the only person who would have bought such a thing, and I’m freezing AND embarrassed right now! What do I do now?
While I’m panicking, something unexpected happened.
Someone’s leaning onto my frozen body. Of course, it’s not just anyone, it’s Kasumi.
To be honest, a girl of her size won’t cause much effect at all, but in other sense, I feel a lot warmer in other areas. Or rather, hot!
It feels weird for me to be thanking her, but I had to say something as it’ll be awkward if I don’t do that.
Not good. This girl’s fragrance is very nice…
“Sakamoto, have you been training your body?”
And then, both of us end up in quite the awkward silence.
This isn’t good. My heartbeat’s becoming erratic. Am I dying? Am I going to die?
“I-I always misunderstood you, Sakamoto.”
The girl places her head at my chest and she continues to whisper,
“I always thought you were cool, scary, and well, that you’re not a good person.”
I’m gradually getting integrated with the class, but I was once a delinquent completely ostracized by others. It’s to be expected that Kasumi would have such thoughts, and she’s definitely scared of me, I guess.
“But that’s not the truth. You’re actually a strong-willed, reliable, courageous person, Sakamoto. You’re really tall, really handsome, interesting, and sometimes adorable. Though you may be a bit of a pervert, I don’t mind, and…”
She’s saying some unexpected phrases, but I guess it’s better for her to stop. If this keeps up, it’ll definitely evolve into crazy ramblings.
“I didn’t know that you were such a wonderful person, Sakamoto…so, well…”
Kasumi right now is heaping praises of what she thinks about me.
“No, this isn’t really…Sakamoto?”
“Yeah. I didn’t know I’m like this.”
This me, at least.
I’m ostracized by the class, didn’t have any friends, and was seen as a troublemaker by my neighbors.
I never once thought before this that I, ever the lonely person, would be able to become a hero.
“That person’s really amazing.”
Kasumi peeks over at me, showing an uneasy look, and this cause me to recover.
Ah shucks, I’m thinking about some strange things.
“Ah, s-sorry. It’s nothing.”
“I-is that so?”
And after that, we continue to chat away in such a silly manner like before. The sky got darker, and we decide to go home.
When I’m about to head home, Kasumi whispers a few words saying, “Always…” and I tilt my head in bafflement, showing a worried look. “Bye bye…” Kasumi then shows a disappointed look as she says this, and heads home.
What’s with that? The last ‘give and take…’ whatever she said at the end really has me curious.
“It’s a need to train for fashion! Leader!”
Two days later. A day breezed by without a hitch.
Hikari Yumesaki continues to write a lot of infuriating things on the notebook with her usual agitated attitude and arrogant tone.
“You dare say such a thing buying that kind of T-shirt?”
To be honest, this person’s sense of beauty is not to be trusted at all.
I look at the little items that’s been increasing in numbers from time to time, and to my regret, I find that her tastes are far different from mine.
It’s the same when she said she wanted to buy an indoor plant; she hesitated, wondering if she’s going to buy a Cactus or a Cassava, and for some reason, ended up buying Parsley. I really can’t wrap my head around this. What? To eat it? That you can eat it once it grows? I really hate parsley though.
And I continue to write down refusing words as I thinking, and two days later, I end up seeing an unexpected reply,
“No way! Girls won’t bother with you if you don’t dress yourself up, you know? You’re handsome here, have confidence!”
It feels like I’m reading too much into her words.
No, I’m not really reading too much into it.
What she wrote next was, “you’re ranked second to me in regards to those who cause hearts to flutter, Sakamoto!”, Why is it such a ranking that makes me ticklish?
I look over at the sofa, and there’s a suit she prepared.
Left at the top of them all is a note stating, “I’ve come up with a plan to make you handsome, Sakamoto! If you follow it, you’ll definitely become famous as a pair of pretty siblings! I bought your little sister’s clothing too, so make her wear it!” On a closer look, I found a Western dress placed next to it.
“Well, since she bought it…”
I do feel cheated here, but since she specially bought it for both of us, I don’t think it’s a good thing not to wear it, so I decided to put it on anyway. These are summer clothes.
“Huh? Not too shabby, isn’t it?’
Unlike what I expected, I don’t find myself looking too bad when I look at myself in the mirror, dressed in a suit. It feels like I can do anything as long as I want to. Also, Hikari Yumesaki, why did you buy that kind of shirt when you have such sense?
“Hehe, feeling all better now.”
I’m not exactly the fashionista type, but after this getup, I just feel somewhat refreshed, and this isn’t actually a bad thing. I try to pose around like a model *shining*! Haha, you really can be a model there, Akitsuki Sakamoto!
“Oh yeah, Yukiko also has one.”
Recalling this, I pick up the dress meant for my sister, and dart out of the room, fleet-footedly.
That brat’s not too bad herself, and if she’s to doll up a little, she’ll definitely look cuter. It’ll be refreshing to see my sister looking rather cute.
“Hey, Yukiko! You got time?”
Maybe I’m getting too excited here.
“I’m going in……huh? what?”
And because of that, I was completely careless.
“…What’s with those sounds?”
I prick my ears, hearing the voices from my sister’s room.
“Are you making a call? Whatever.”
And as I just said, I was completely careless.
I left these warning sounds on deaf ears, place my hand on the doorknob without hesitation, and opened the door.
And then, I saw it.
My little sister’s lying on the bed, half-naked while her face’s flushed red, drooling for some reason, her armpits exposed as she gives an alluring look while skyping–!
“Again, how many times must I say this!? This is the scene when ‘Akihoshi’ gets violated by the male childhood friend! It’s an important scene, and the illustration has to be well done here!”
My little sister, now lying in front of the computer, hasn’t noticed me as she continue to growl angrily,
“That’s not it. I need more…anyway, it’s not lewd enough! I want to be more perverted! This light novel is based on such an ideal! Why don’t you understand!?”
And then, my sister continues on in such a state,
“Seriously, your lack of comprehension is the same as usual! I’ll give you a proper demonstration, so listen up! On page 72, there! This is the most important scene! This is the scene where it has to be more like this, Akihoshi’s clothes are torn off, the armpits spread wide, looking extremely lewd, going ‘hnnng, ahhhnnn❤ ‘ while being forcefully kissed by the childhood friend and embraced tightly–WOOOOAAHHHHH!? B-brother!? When did you enter!?”
“S-sorry…for interrupting you…”
Now that my sister has noticed me, I inadvertently hold onto the new dress as I take a step back.
“Wait, brother! You’re mistaken! Hey wait!”
“No, it’s fine! I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s fine!”
“Wh-what are you saying!? That’s not it–”
Without hearing any of her explanation, I close the door, and return back to my room, putting on normal clothes.
I guess height is most important when it comes to dressing smartly.
And so, I waited till 2 days later, seeing a message written in my notebook, “why am I getting a weird message from your little sister? Did something happen?” and so, I hurriedly fish out my cellphone to look, seeing this message,
“That’s not the case! The illustrator’s comprehension is too weak, so I had to use skype to explain! That guy’s an idiot either way! I’m not getting high on my own! Don’t be mistaken!”
Like hell I know.
And so I put on my high school uniform nonchalantly. Hm, school uniforms are the best after all. No flaws at all.
And then, this happened on a different day.
“It wasn’t like this yesterday! Erm, I was requested by my older sister! I don’t have any interests in that sort of thing!”
The moment I was about to go to school, Kasumi was explaining this frantically to me.
“Eh, ah…(did something happen) well, it’s fine either way, no? I don’t really care.”
It feels like I’ve been starting to get confused recently.
“I-it’s good that you understand…hm…please don’t look forward to it…”
Kasumi’s panting furiously, but looks like she’s relieved now.
However, it seems she just thought of something again as she lowers her head, fidgeting as she twiddles her fingers, continuing on,
“S-Sakamoto, do you have, that sort of interest…?”
“Eh? Ah, ah…”
Damn it. Not this kind of vague question again. Looks like I have to make a gamble here.
“Hm, well, I guess I do, I do.”
How about that?”
“Eh? Y-you do?”
Huh? Did I fail this time?
“I-is that so? So you do have such interests…Th-then I guess I do too…”
“It-it’s nothing! Nothing at all! Please don’t worry!”
And after saying this, she ran off.
“What’s with her this time?”
And so, I write this incident down on the notebook.
Two days later, the reply was–
“I was browsing around at the AV corner, and met Kasumi over there coincidentally.”
“HEEEEEEYYYYYY!? Such an awkward moment actually happened!?”
This is no trivial matter here!
“Kasumi was looking very suspicious.
–That’s not it! I’m here on request of my sister! My sister’s a huge pervert here!…she was saying such a vague testimony over and over again, not looking like she’ll admit.
However, I told her, ‘I wonder if that round shaped circular saw is a weapon used for murder’ and so she desperately tried to had that weapon. The way she did it was really cute cute, so I decided to take off immediately and arrest this culprit. If you wanna know where that murder weapon is, give me some Koala’s March.”
“That idiot woman…”
I recalled the conversation we had in the day, and could only head off to the supermarket glumly to buy some sweets.
No, I guess I’m still curious about that, no?
I’ve been tortured often by Hikari Yumesaki often, but there are times when I have the upper hand. Of course, those moments are few.
There was once when I was clicking my tongue, cleaning up the mess Hikari Yumesaki left behind and scattered everywhere. Below the bed, a space where I normally wouldn’t notice, was a light novel.
That was what I thought after reading the contents.
I browse through a certain page of this light novel.
Written on it is,
‘Akihoshi, let’s break up.’
‘Wh-what are you saying, Yukio!?”
‘I know you’ve been fooling around with women without telling me…
‘Thank you for going out with me. Goodbye, Akihoshi’.
‘W-wait! Hey, why are you going to the roof!? Are you planning to kill yourself!?’
‘Sorry, but from now on, I shall be alone–‘
That sort of content’s causing me to burst out laughing. No way, are you kidding me, Hikari Yumesaki?
“So that girl is into that sort of thing?”
She likes to watch late night anime with a lot of little girls in them, collects lots of moe type manga, so I do know she has interests in 2D. However, I never thought such a thing would be within her territory too.
I stare at the cover of that work with boys going beyond the level of mere friendship. The sight of the two pretty boys putting their faces together was so invigorating it’s disgusting.
Yes, that is the so called BL novel.
It seems to be a serialized work, as there’s an indication of the cover stating that it’s the 5th volume. The obi wrapped around the book states, BL author Yukimaru finally brings us the latest issue of a new love comedy, ‘Tomorrow I will die, You will revive!’
“Now this is getting interesting.”
It’s a rare thing that I’m able to catch that girl’s weakness. I place the book on the table, and wrote,
“I never thought you would have such interests (LOL). Follow rule number 4 (LOL).”
With an overwhelming sense of triumph, I hand over the baton to the me tomorrow.
And two days later, the following excuse is written,
“I don’t really like it that much, but it’s only recently that I’ve interest in such things. It’s a trendy thing, so i just had a look. Speaking of which, this is sexual harassment, right? Don’t talk about such things to a girl! Hey, you got it!? Let me tell you first, other girls normally read such things too! You really don’t understand anything about what a girl values, Sakamoto! You idiot, idiot, idiot! Ah, you’re still a virgin, so it’s normal for you not to understand it though.”
And so, on the last page of the notebook.
“Rule 28: Don’t look into a girl’s secret! At least pretend not to know about it, you idiot!”
So there’s a new rule?
I imagine the sight of her looking all red-faced, furious and embarrassed as she wrote down those words, and so I bask in my sense of superiority. Gahaha, so there are times when I can be winning, huh?
“She does have moments when she’s cute, huh?”
…And well, I didn’t notice that she changed the ringtone for my message cellphone, causing me a terrorist attack from my sister ‘big brother, your phone’. Well, that’s another story altogether.
And on a certain day, I was unexpectedly congratulated.
“Happy birthday! Haa–ppp–yy— Birthhuu—daayyy!!”
Below these words that felt revolting instead of relieving was an illustration of Kasumi kissing me. There’s also a case placed on the table, and inside it is a seemingly pricey watch.
“You won’t be popular if you don’t have a cool watch!
–Yaah, Akitsuki’s watch is so cool.
–Ah, Kasumi, your watch isn’t moving? I’ll spin the spring for you.
–Ahh! Not there–nngghhh! Noo!
Really, you’re a pervert, Sakamoto.”
Aren’t you the perverted one?
And also, this isn’t the problem.
“Today isn’t my birthday.”
And also, to buy this watch, she probably withdrew a lot of money from my account. This thing doesn’t match the criteria of a birthday gift. Are you a rookie conman?
“On a side note, my birthday’s on July 18 (Cheers, cheers)!”
I see. She wanted a present? I guess she’s either planning quite some bit or thick-skinned herself. I look at the calendar, and found that she did draw a circle around the 18.
“Seriously, she leaves me no choice.”
Since a birthday’s a rare thing, I’ll buy something for it. It feels like I’m being led around by her, but I get it doesn’t matter now. It’s a birthday that happens once every year. Also, she did leave this message behind.
“Leaving aside that, thanks for being so kind to me all this time. I’m really happy to be with you. Let’s continue to be together, Sakamoto.”
I know this doesn’t suit my personality, but I still end up blushing.
“Seriously. Is she really hoping to get a present from me?”
It’s more of a flattery, but it’s really sneaky of a girl to simply write words like this. I know this is the case, but i’m still somewhat happy, and a little frustrated.
I let my thoughts run wild, and try putting on the watch. Oh, it’s rather light. On a closer look, it’s a Denmark brand. Nice watch here.
“Trash! Absolute trash!”
It happened on a certain afternoon.
I had returned home one day, and found that my sister was smashing the vegetables at the kitchen, with the pose of a demon king.
“That woman…Yukiko is supposed to be the only one with the right to be petted! I’ll kill her! I’ll definitely kill her! Uuu….my blog’s getting flamed, I’m getting called an idiot on the comments section, and I’m getting replies telling me to stop…damn it!!”
Sh-she’s a sicko…
I’m not sure exactly what’s she flailing about, but I sense danger if I approach her at this point, so I left her as she was. I escape back to my room, and open the notebook as per habit.
“Hmmmm~, it’s not that kind of partner?”
“What are you saying now?”
On that day, everything she wrote in the notebook was about the same thing.
As for why this is the case, I have to go back to two days ago. I was writing my diary 2 days ago–in other words, in response to Hikari Yumesaki’s diary entry 3 days ago “Speaking of which, it’s a bit late, but do you have any girls that you like, Sakamoto? Do you like that girl you exchanged messages with? What do you think about her?”
In regards to that question, my reply two days ago was, “I don’t have anyone I like, and I’m not dating that girl. We’re just penpals. I didn’t think of her as that kind of partner’. Surely such a content should be fine, I guess. I’m not lying in any way, and we never contacted each other all the time.
However, I found that line right at the beginning of the notebook.
And then, the line below it was,
And the following line,
“Hm—–hmmm~” What are you wondering about here?
And furthermore, there came this offensive line,
“A virgin. A penpal girl. ‘I don’t think of her as this kind of partner’ (twinkle)…this is weird. This isn’t like you, you lustful Sakamoto.”
Leave me alone! I’m not so desperate that I’m thinking about this!
And then, there comes this line,
“Now then, have you been confessed to before? Ah, if I’m asking a very cruel question here, I’m sorry.”
Such a question was posed to me.
“That worry of yours is more cruel here, okay?”
I let out a sullen sigh in the room.
Normally, I would have to say ‘no’.
I never actually managed to talk to a girl properly, and I feel that I won’t ever get a confession in my lifetime.
But what do I write here?
Write down “I haven’t been confessed to in my life till this second year of high school?” Now this is too embarrassing.
“My lie won’t be exposed, right?”
I lost to what can be said to be an unnecessary amount of pride.
“I did, once before. But I refused.”
Such damn forced prideful words are really causing me to explode in anger. But can you understand this? Boys are all like this, right?
And so, I use this moment to slip in a question I always wanted to ask.
Nonchalantly, pretending not to be interested.
“What about you?”
“It should be natural, right…?”
I muttered to myself.
This girl has such a cheerful personality, and I won’t be surprised if I see her aggressively pursuing one.
In that case, the chances of her having a boyfriend is–
I feel conflicted for some reason, and so I decide not to think about it.
In the end, my mind’s in a haze, and I just can’t get rid of that thought, so I can only force myself to sleep. Two days later, when I woke up, I immediately open the notebook hastily.
First, let’s check the reply to my forced reply,
“Once? That’s somewhat unexpected.”
I feel that there’s something wrong about it, and so i continue to read, seeing the next line at the bottom.
I take a deep breath, and open my eyes wide. The words at the bottom appear in my sight.
“Secret (heart sign)”
A defeated feeling arose in me, and so I write down there, “I’m not very interested either myself, so it doesn’t matter’. It felt forced coming from me though, so I intend to rub it off. However, I can’t as it’s a ball-point pen, and I really regret it.
“What am I doing here…”
Seriously, what was I doing?
“You look rather tired.”
“All sorts of things happened.”
“Oho, it was really intense yesterday, huh?”
“How many times have you said this.”
It’s a certain Tuesday morning.
Because of that idiot staying up late at night, I’m completely worn up, and I can only take a break and head to the infirmary to rest.
Higumo’s dressed in a white robe, her hair tied in a ponytail as she swayed her muffler about while chatting. The way she’s dressed up seems sweltering hot.
“I’m joking. Actually, you’ve been catching quite some attention yourself.”
I stare at the ceiling, and start to think about recent events.
I had neither friends nor a girlfriend.
I was ostracized by others no matter whether I was in school, or at home, and also treated as a super delinquent in school too.
These were a thing of the past.
Right now, I still don’t have a girlfriend, but there are people I can call friends in class. I never made any friends before, so I’m not too certain as to the level of friendship, which makes this depressing.
My relationship with my family is not as tense as it used to be before, and I feel that the frequency of my conversations with my little sister is increasing.
I’ll occasionally hear people in the neighborhood saying ‘Looks like his rebellious state is over’, probably because I have been taking part in neighborhood volunteer work. Was I giving such an impression before this?
My situation at school is as Higumo had said. I don’t really know how the teachers view me here, but I at least am really trusted by my classmates, and the proof of this is that my classmates are often asking me for help recently, or discussing matters with me. Is it right to call this prestige? I do think it’s a little wrong however.
“Have I changed here?”
I inadvertently blurt out these words.
Damn it. I thought, but it seemed Higumo didn’t hear me. In an instant, she vanished from me. Huh? Where did she go?
At the moment I realize the voice’s coming from
Higumo getting on me in a horse-riding position while I’m lying on the bed, pressing on my chest.
Wait–don’t do this in a miniskirt…! Your cleavage’s open…!
“You won’t be able to move now. Hoho. Where are you looking?”
This person seriously needs to be educated.
Seriously, and speaking of which, when has she been this interested in me? She’s the only one who showed me any form of goodwill at first. Such a strange fellow.
“…This teacher here is worried about you, you know?”
What’s she saying out of a sudden? What’s with this development? And speaking of which, get off me now.
“Hey, Akitsuki? Is this teacher fine with you? This teacher’s glad to do so if it’s you. This teacher will, keep this, a, se-cr-et.”
“I say, why such a development? Enough already.”
“You don’t wanna?”
“Yeah, it’s a lie.”
An annoying silence descend of the silence, somewhat mixed with the noises from the field.
Shit, what’s with this? Why’s she giving such a skeptical look?
“Akitsuki, you’re too much of a good guy. This teacher understands this very well. You would always worry about others all this time. It feels like you subconsciously show no care regarding your life, saying ‘please have it’ and handing it over. Isn’t it better to just live your life as it is?”
I want to say something, but I can’t refute her points. I’m such an honest person after all.
I’m a person who’s willing to give up half my life here. I too think that I’m a good guy.
“Are you the type of person who’ll follow every single command the girl you like gives?”
“Such a thing isn’t–”
And I have a little regret over the averting of my eyes.
“That braids girl?”
“…I don’t know.”
Higumo licks her index finger as she asked me this.
I continue to search for all sorts of excuses, but it seems that I’ll end up more susceptible, so I decide to remain silence for now. Just give already, you.
“It’s not always a good thing to obey the one you likes. if you decide your true thoughts, you’ll regret this for the rest of your life. Regret is a punishment for not working hard, and the burden of guilt is too much for a short human lifespan to handle. Especially when it comes to a certain person–”
Higumo stares right into my eyes, seemingly saying such words to someone else.
For some reason, her words seem similar to what that guy said, or maybe it’s just me.
“Well, hoho, aren’t you quite cute.
And then, Higumo–
“Too bad. This is all this teacher can say right now. Bye then.”
Higumo uses her moist index finger to wipe around my lips, and slowly leaves me. At the same time, she releases her body from me.
“Also, I do find you more handsome with shorter hair.”
Leaving these words behind, she heads out of the infirmary. I can only let out a sigh at that white figure…well, whatever.
“…Is she, serious…”
The moist finger lingers a sweet, cold touch on my lips.
Such a touch fuddled my heart, and I inadvertently gulp.
Having returned from school, I reach my room, change clothes, and look at the notebook.
I’m a little more frantic than usual this morning, so I left my notebook at home. This is the first time I’m opening this notebook.
I guess there isn’t anything important written inside.
“[Virgin report!] I just witnessed Kasumi buying some Gomu GomO fruit at the drugstore today!! Just a step more! We’ve finally made it this far! I’m going to be the Pirate Queen!”
“Did she just write some incredible thing there——!?”
You’re kidding me, right?
No, this is, ehhh!?
Wait, wait, calm down now. This may be a joke on Hikari Yumesaki’s part. Calm down now!
For some reason, it seems that Kasumi has been weirder than usual today…
And the girls’ eyes are dazzling when they look at me…
I don’t know anymore! Forget about it! Forget about it all!!
In my excitement, I end up running one round around the streets, and once I got to my room, I did the JSDF’s menu of abs training, did handstands, shouting ‘shimeji shimeji shimeji shimeji!!’ creating a ruckus until my mind finally reverts back to normal. Calm down, calm down now. it’s not time to panic yet. Stop boxing the lights switch already. Enough already, me!
After exerting the excessive energy within me, I again flip through the notebook.
“Recently, everyone’s been asking me ‘what kind of girl do you like’? I think it’s better that Sakamoto and I share the same interests, right? Anyway, I just said big breasts, white skin, big breasts, petite body, big breasts, twintails, moe, is that okay?”
“Aren’t you just talking about that girl?”
It’s a rare thing that this girl actually asks for what I ask.
I guess she’s playing it safe this time because it also concerns Kasumi.
I wonder once again.
As for what I can see…well, I’m not so particular about that.
A cute girl is fine, but the important thing is the inner heart. The appearance is just a decoration after all. I can’t say that a terrifying appearance requires a different treatment. No way.
I rub my sweat away, and continue to ponder.
If it’s personality, I guess I prefer a cheerful girl after all.
It’s best if it’s an enthusiastic girl who can drag this unenthusiastic me around.
As for other aspects, I don’t think it’s a bad thing if that girl’s personality is stubborn, or that she’ll pay any particular mind to the mind. Perhaps a feisty personality is fine after all. As for being a prankster…
“What am I thinking of here!? Pull myself together, man!”
I yell as I slam my head against the table.
It’s a mistake, a mistake here, I say! That’s not supposed to be the case!
“Damn it, damn it, this has to be a lie, right…?”
For some reason, I can see Higumo’s smirk in my mind, and I again shake my head. Ah, that’s enough already. Somebody just kill me already! Nobody has a gun around!?
After going rampant for quite a while, I leap to the bed.
–I didn’t know that you were such a wonderful person, Sakamoto
Kasumi’s words is engulfing my mind.
Am I serious? Am I seriously serious here!?
“I never noticed it. That person–”
Was, was so–
“Confession’s————————————————————————————————————————-here!!!!! It’s here!!! It’s here——!!!”
Waking up earlier due to the alarm clock set earlier than usual, I find the room still in darkness.
Is that so,
For some reason, I find myself letting out this sound.
Continued on the notebook is,
“Kasumi said to me ‘please go out with me’! And I said ‘I want to make a serious answer, so please wait for a day’!! I’ve done my prep here here!! it’s up to you now! Make your firm decision!!”
The words are dazzling, looking excited.
And right below it are the words,
“I’ve already cut your fingernails.”
I already understood from the emotions in the word.
That girl wrote such words with such a happy feeling.
But because of this, I–
I called Kasumi over to an empty classroom.
It’s after school, and the sunset fills the campus.
It’s the warm, warm orange that girl likes.
The performance of the wind instrument club can be heard from afar, and mixed amongst them is a breaking sound of sunset.
Surely this is unmendable now.
“Sorry, I can’t go out with you.”
This line is a lot easier than I thought, even I was shocked by it.
My heart was pounding so loudly, my ears were ringing, and my entire body was rampaging for some reason.
But the unexpected thing is that Kasumi did not avert her eyes.
She’s not crying at all. She’s not shocked at all. She’s just remaining still there, seemingly forgetting how to cry and tremble.
It’ll be laughable if I can’t endure this any further.
But I’m unable to do so, and finally look away.
I don’t want to see such a sad look. if possible, I want to be able to let Hikari Yumesaki face all these. However, this matter won’t just end like this.
And thus, I had to make Kasumi cry.
Kasumi’s seemingly in a dream as she lets out a soft voice.
She looks like she’s trying to hold it in, like she was giving up, and yet unable to give up.
She’s chiding me with such a voice. Should I be proud for being able to hear such a voice?
“I have somebody I like.”
I find this to be a cruel line.
Beautiful it is, but extremely cruel,
“That person’s selfish and does whatever she does, is easily angered, loves to play tricks, and is basically like an idiot. She never thinks about doing things in order, lacks common sense, and never thinks that she’s causing trouble for others in whatever she does. She’s really a hopeless person. She’s been causing me trouble all this time, always doing things that annoy me to no end. But because of her, I find that I’m liking myself a little. This is the first time I’m living like this ever since I’m born, so, so…I–”
I’m unable to say anymore.
Because I don’t have the courage to continue.
“What you like isn’t me. That’s why, I’m sorry.”
“I don’t know, what you mean…”
The furious words are dripping onto the wet floor.
And all I can do is to apologize,
“…Who is it? Who’s that girl?”
“…I think…I like you more than that girl, Sakamoto.”
“…I think so too.”
“…But even that’s, not enough…?”
I mercilessly trample upon her last resistance.
She proceeds to leave, harboring intense emotions, sadness all over.
The back profile of hers cause me to understand something, that she will never ever forgive me.
The floor is marked with her tears.
And they shall never disappear.
It’s two days later.
My room’s a complete wreckage.
The room’s so badly destroyed I don’t even know how to begin describing the scene. I let out a sigh. Well, this went just as I expected.
My body’s feeling very heavy, and my eyes hurt.
The pain and scrapes on my hands are probably due to her slamming the wall.
I take out my cellphone to affirm the time, and find a message from my sister.
“What are you thinking, y-you stupid brother! Just go and die!”
And to match my response, I open the sent mail folder.
“This tragedy has awakened a forbidden afternoon trouble! Oh little sister! Come comfort your brother!”
And all I can see are 30 of these disgusting messages.
There’s the clothes that were toppled out, the overturned furniture and miscellaneous items.
I pick up the items that have been ravaged by the typhoon of annoyance. I guess I can call her gentle as the only thing left unscathed in the room was the Parsley.
And in the end, I moved the trash bin, now on the desk, onto the floor, and opened the notebook that was placed under it.
There was one simple line written in there,
“As you say so.”
I lower my head and apologize.
If I’m waking up on the bed today, even this mild-mannered me will start rampaging. That girl’s trying her best in her own way however. She has textbooks and reference books placed on the desk like a student, and the notebook were placed by the side.
“It’s Hikari’s victory…I hope that’s the case…”
Written on it was a line akin to a dying message.
“It’s still cold in the morning?”
It’s morning in early June, still somewhat dark out there.
I mutter this to the eerie sky that looks like it’s trying to reverse the red color.
“Guess there’s no doubt this is the time after all.”
It’s the melancholic beginning of the month, the mid-terms around the corner.
I managed to discover something out of coincidence, that ‘there’s a fixed time for us to switch over’.
Before this, both Hikari Yumesaki and I assumed that our personalities would switch at will during the time when sleep, till the moment we wake up. However, it seems the time we switch over is fixed. There are occasions when I burn the midnight oil trying to revise for my exams, only for my consciousness to snap midway through, and that I’m on the bed the next moment I wake up.
And so, I came up with a conjecture, that ‘at a certain time, we’ll switch our consciousness like we’re sleeping’, and decide to experiment on each other.
The experiment basically consists of the following, that ‘Hikari Yumesaki is to burn the midnight oil, and we will check the time we wake up’. At the moment, once the personalities have been switched, I can tell the time both of us switch over looking at the clock. This is also a reason to force Hikari Yumesaki, who doesn’t do any form of revision, to burn the midnight oil.
That girl has always stayed up late, but after looking at the plan, she protested,
“I don’t wanna stay up till morning.”
However, I broke out of my usual character, and wrote a long determined essay on the notebook indicating my firm will with regards to this. This isn’t a joke; it’ll be bad if I don’t hurry up and study. The subjects are basically divided into 2, so the burden’s probably smaller than usual. This is why she should be studying harder.
And so, after several setbacks (where Hikari Yumesaki ended up sleeping), we finally succeeded on this day. The proof is that I’m very tired. It seems the moment of personalities switch is very tiring.
“So the time my vision vanishes is 4.59am? Looks like I have to be sleeping before then.”
If I don’t do so, both of us will be confused due to the sudden switch.
Like for example, the coffee in the corner of my sights.
Did she just brew it, or was it completely chilled?
It’s a minor thing, but a sudden switch in personality will cause anyone to have doubts Also, I wonder if she took a sip from this coffee, or not at all–
No, it’s an indirect kiss, but that’s just myself, right? Just the myself a few minutes ago, right? But well, to put it in some way, it’s like an indirect kiss.
“She prepared it for me, huh?”
It seems she brewed it to drink herself, but the timing’s unfortunate. Well, since she brewed it, I’ll help myself now.
I thought as I reach my hand for the cup, the sickening sweet taste flowing–
It’s hot! Hotter than I thought!
I saw it giving off steam, but it’s still hotter than I thought!
“Looks like she just brewed it…huh?”
There’s a little note placed under the cup saucer, now liberated from the weight of the cup.
Written on it were the messy words out of place,
“I think it’s about that time now.”
Ah, I see. So that’s how it is.
The warm flames are burning deep within my heart.
The indescribable message is causing me to subconsciously show a smile
“You did well there, Hikari Yumesaki.”
The sky outside the window is gray with a blue hue, a color that could cause one to forget about others for some inexplicable reason.
It’s like the initial moments of a lost soul wandering into a different world, inexplicably delighted.
I look at the sky that girl was looking at just a while back, and my cold body is warmed by that sweet color.
“What is this?”
It’s a certain sunny day after the mid-terms ended without a hitch.
I switch on the computer, hoping to burn some time on the internet, and come across a strange folder.
It’s a customized folder with a heart sign icon, placed in the middle of the desktop. The title of the folder is ‘My true feelings’.
I’m not particularly interested about it, but I guess it doesn’t matter if I have a look at it.
I gulp, and while panting, I double-click on the icon.
And like my anime folder, the folder’s encrypted, damn it. Password.
Anyway, I try entering all the passwords I can think of, but they all return back as errors.
My (Watashi) true feelings. I (Ore) want to see. I (Watashi), I (Ore), I (Watashi), I (Ore), I (Watashi).
“What’s with that!?”
“Calm down, calm down now, me.”
After the massive delusion of an elementary kid, I start to piece things together again.
I’m curious, but I don’t know the password…damn it. Am I supposed to give up now? What’s that girl’s thinking? Though she always has been like this.
Feeling reluctant, I still force myself to connect to the internet instead.
And while I’m surfing the internet to relieve myself.
I notice something.
There’s a website I’ve never seen before on the browsing history.
“Got to be that girl.”
I’m the only one using this computer after all.
Any records I don’t know of that’s indicated here is definitely left behind by that girl.
In other words, I can tell what she normally looks at.
In other words, I can peek upon her privacy.
What do I do?
Can I look?
Maybe I’ll end up on a pervert looking site–
“I guess it’s fine if it’s just a little.”
I feel that I’m somewhat stubborn in saying this, but she does search through my privacy from time to time. There was once when I came across something that left me speechless. The files in that anime folder has been rearranged due to the number of times she viewed it, and the most watched anime title that’s boasted proudly is “The number of tissue paper I’ve taken down is no less than anyone else.” Right, now my doubts are gone.
“Anyway, let’s start from the top.”
Driven by my curiosity, I open the web site.
Shown on it is a shopping site filled with photos of cats and dogs. There’s a lot of anime and movie sites too. It seems she has been to a lot of imageboards too.
As for other stuff, there are terms like ‘remove unnecessary hair’, ‘ways to get up quietly’, ‘high school student average’ in the search history. There’s even a search record of a ‘Sexy Dream eyewitness report’. There’s no way such a thing can occur, right! Yes, right?
Also, the search history includes of ‘Yukimaru’s new issue’, ‘Boy Incompetent Uke’, ‘Tomorrow I die, wise sayings to use’, but I’m most interested in,
“Boyfriend birthday present’.
I inadvertently slap my face that’s giving a foolish smile to sober myself, and shake my head head,
Don’t be hasty. Calm down.
These alone aren’t enough for me to tell whether that boyfriend is me. Also, the following search record is a huge problem too– ‘Ero games, little sister fetish recommendation’. Depending on the situation, this will cause a family dispute.
I then continue to search through the search history, and find an unexpected site,
“…Wisdom bag? This girl actually uses such a site?”
I found the ‘YaOoo! Wisdom Bag (智恵袋)!”everyone has been helped by.
However, it’s not just for browsing, just questioning. I wonder what sort of face she made when she used this.
“Oh yeah. I can see what she searched for here, right?”
The first question that entered my sight,
“That Sakamoto’s thing looks very cute when it’s hard. Is this an anomaly?”
“DON’T KID AROUND WITH ME, YOU BITCH!!!”
And she even wrote my name down! You should be saying that it’s a friend or something.
And then, the following questions were ‘how tall is Sakamoto?’, ‘how big that that thing’, and Hikari Yumesaki answered them honestly. Goodness…
“What has she been doing?”
Feeling completely frustrated, I scan through the other questions.
“Sakamoto’s a little ill-tempered. He’ll get angry when I sleep naked. Is it because that thing is too small?”
“I told Sakamoto that he needs to cut his hair, yet he hasn’t. He definitely looks more handsome with short hair.”
“Speaking of which, I’m a little worried about Sakamoto’s growth.”
“Ah, is that the reason why he has long hair? I understand now (LOL) Is that what everyone thinks?”
There were many of such questions.
Anyway, I’m currently thinking of ways to take revenge on the me tomorrow. If anyone has any good ideas, please tell me.
“Are people actually curious about…”
I can’t help but wonder, there are actually people who would answer such questions? However, there are always a few bored souls around on this world. It’s annoying that she answered all kinds of questions honestly.
For example, ‘HN: Falling Snow Night’ answered,
“My brother’s thing is also small, but I do know that when he wakes up in the morning…”
It feels a bit fake, to be honest.
There were other things, like ‘turbulent winds of the Infirmary’ saying,
“Long hair boys have a strong tendency of feeling self-defeated. From your words, I can determine that he is frustrated over his size. However, small is not a sin. Such boys like to go around acting tough, so you should be laughing at him quietly in your heart while showing concern for him.”
This reply really hurt my eyes and heart. And why is it that this is the best answer, damn it!!
“Goodness, she’s always doing such stupid things.”
And then, I continue to search wearily through the question box,
“Great success at teasing Sakamoto! What shall I do next time?”
“Sakamoto’s really cute for forgiving all my pranks–! Are boys always this cute?”
“Sakamoto after the shower makes my heart pound! Can you understand!”
“Veins! The veins on the arms are throbbing! Don’t you find that boys’ veins are wonderful!?”
“Sakamoto’s still a coward like usual, but this makes him cuter, right? In a certain sense”
“Sakamoto really has few friends, huh? He’s really a good person though! Shall I help him here?”
“I want Sakamoto to have a girlfriend! He’ll be delighted, right?”
“I investigated on Sakamoto’s fetishes! Since I find that they are all huge breasts anime on his computer, that has to be it, right?”
And all sorts of such questions.
Instead of questions, this has somehow evolved into something like a blog for her. Well, her joy is well conveyed here.
To be honest, I was a little suspicious.
Was she actually forcing herself?
Was she pretending to be cheerful so that she won’t have to think about her death?
I let out a sigh of relief, and stare at the last question,
“Why isn’t he dating? Did I do something unnecessary?”
I wrote in my notebook on that night.
“Sorry, I lied. I do have someone I like. That’s why I can’t go out with Kasumi. Sorry for hiding this from you.”
“…I won’t get caught now, right?”
Her voice continued to echo in my heart several times.
And ever since then, Hikari Yumesaki never talked about Kasumi again.
There is no way she can’t be curious about it though. She just never did anything about it.
“I guess I should forgive her for that.”
And then, feeling, anxious and somewhat expectant, I went to sleep after writing those words.
The next day, I saw the relieved and somewhat regretful voice…
“Thanks for telling me. Sorry for doing such stubborn things. I just want to repay you for saving me, Sakamoto, but it looks like I did something unnecessary. I do feel sorry for Kasumi too…please continue to maintain normal contact with her. It’ll hurt her if you suddenly pull your distance away from her. I’ll try showing some concern to her too. I’m really sorry.
Speaking of which, you do have a girl you like after all! There’s nothing to be ashamed about that, really~! You’re really handsome, weak to moe, and definitely can strike up a maternal’s instinct. You’ll definitely be able to hook on with one successfully! Do your best, Sakamoto! I’ll be cheering!”
And right below it is an illustration of Hikari Yumesaki hugging me.
It’s filled with joy and sadness, difficult to explain.
“Guess I got no choice.”
Both of us are back to back from each other, so close yet so far.
We’re closer to anyone else, yet we can’t touch each other, let alone talk to each other.
Even until death, even when we’re dead, for eternity.
That’s why I can only give up–
It’s discomforting to say this, but I guess there are quite some boys like me who have such murky outsets in life. I’m definitely able to answer my feelings after meeting her, but such thinking is most probably just running away from reality.
“…Let’s go to school.”
After an inner conflict that didn’t fit me, I closed the notebook.
And head to school like usual.
I looked at the dull sky, brooded for a while, and ran out without an umbrella. It should be fine, right?
And I wished.
But the world could never forgive her.