Well, looking at how barren this site is, so be it. I don’t bother with promoting my stuff nowadays, and have mostly secluded myself from the LN translation community.
We’re moving into the final phase of my light novel fan translating era. Thus begins the end with the first volume of Sunday Without God, or Kamisama no Inai Nichiyoubi. it’s on the site.
As I have said, this is the final series I hope to release before I leave for good. I know this is a selfish request from me, that publishers have no need to heed my plea, but I do want to finish this one as a parting gift before I leave.
So as I play the Twinkle Twinkle Little Star melody from Your Lie in April, I shall struggle to convey what I am about to say.
I suppose I should come clean about one thing though. This involves the main motivation for me translating all these years.
The main reason, truth be told, is that I have a pretty severe case of depression. If you ask when I have it, I suppose it has been there for at least 15 years. Somehow, I’m still highly functional, but I’m not sure how long I can last.
Thus, my translating habit, not hobby, is mostly a coping mechanism for me to distract myself. I wouldn’t call it an obsession, but a distraction, yes. Acceptance by others is a fourth necessity for humans after all.
And my workaholic tendencies, I might say, is to distract myself from my depression issues.
I do know that I’m a ticking time bomb. If I have to say, it’s not as much of a depression as much as it is aa repression. Suicide has never been a thought, because let’s face it, it’ll be messy to clean up afterwards, I have no active urge to die immediately, and I’m too aloof to even think about killing myself. I do however feel disappointed to wake up alive every day.
Thus, the themes of Kamiinai in particular appealed to me, the living, the dead, and wishes. Why I chose it as my last project, I suppose, is for therapeutic purposes. The lyrics of the opening ‘Birth’ in particular appeals to me.
Also, Magdala in particular was chosen because my personality is exactly like Kusla, seeking his raison d’etre, always feeling like an outcast to the world, yet having to roam and survive the world. Truth be told, while appearing like both a riajuu and otaku, I don’t feel like I belong to each label particularly. Thus, why I chose these niche series is simply because I don’t feel the need for appeal. (Though at least two thirds of them get licensed anyway) I would say that I am aloof to the world, the ‘and then what’ mentality, and the feeling of void I subconsciously choose to keep. It’s not really a void now that I’m still translating, but I do know that I can’t keep fan translating forever, and I don’t feel any particular satisfaction from finishing any volume, so yeah, it is a void to me.
Each project added to this site was chosen due to particular reasons, mostly because how they appeal to me. Bokushinu deals with the themes of life and death in a romcom, Magdala deals with outcasts trying to survive the world, 86 mainly deals with convictions, Hikaru deals with an outcast prodded out of his shell, Strangled deals with a character turning his delusions into benefits.
Thus is my lack of interest in acquainting myself to other fan translations (and even official), like mindless hentai works done by those depraved, series that are dropped due to low reader count (and lack of ‘donations’), isekais obsessions just because your life is terrible and you need solace, the need to imprint yourself in another character to feel like you’re in control of stuff.
Of course, that’s just me ranting at the clouds. I do consider myself the elder statesman in this little niche after all. Sometimes I do feel that I’m so different from others, I’m not human.
But well, enough moping around, since I’m still alive, begrudgingly.
So…here we go.
One 86 volume 3 coming up.